a mess of feelings

I'm sorry for my lack of posts lately.
I really haven't been busy, i've just been scatter-brained and thinking a lot about so many things
so when i find time to post something or take pictures or do art i find myself so tired and just wanting
to sleep. Thats not who i am though. i'm a passionate person who likes to always be doing things.
I have pictures of a recent trip to visit my brother but i just have not uploaded them yet.
I'm sitting in Starbucks in milwaukee right now and have just been so annoyed all morning with people talking so loud and making so much noise which is not nice of me. I've been so anxious so everything
annoys me and i can't stand it! so i just sit with my music in so i can't hear anything.

I saw Death Cab for Cutie last night. it was such an amazing concert. they played with Magik Magik orchestra and it was so beautiful. That made me excited for more concerts I'll go to. thats all I want to
do in my life, make art and go to shows, is that unrealistic? no. and i want to travel and see everything and meet everyone. I'm such a dreamer and then i feel discouraged because so many people are not
and they think the things i want in life are silly which is so frustrating. I've been having so many thoughts about life and my purpose. I don't think i'm sad i'm just anxious and confused and excited.

I've been consistently sick for so long and couldn't feel things and now that i can feel things i find myself more and more confused and impulsive about things. I think someone in my life affected that. brought things to the surface, which was needed. i don't know what i'm saying anymore ha. does anyone else have such a hard time understand how they feel, or telling people how they feel? i hope i am not the only one.